There is nothing in life that is as important as self-esteem.
It is the very thing that allows you to stand shoulders high before people and believe that you can be successful in anything you decided to do. Without it, it would be impossible to convince even the most potential employer that you are worth the job you applied for.
I remember the psychological torture of seeing my friends get a job while I lost the same job, all because I was not confident enough. The saddest thing was the fact that I am the one who often told them about new job opportunities and so we applied for the jobs together. While I physically smiled and said it was okay, deep within me were questions of why I fail in everything that I try to do.
I felt like I was like a second class citizen in a nation where everyone was first class.
Everyone seemed to be successful, other than me and I hated it, not because I was jealous, but because I had a clue of what hindered my success:
Their words had continued to follow me into my adult life.
Yes, the words of those who kept telling me that I would never amount to anything in life.
I grew up surrounded by people who constantly magnified my weakness and never at any point saw any of my strengths.
To be honest, I would never wish that to happen to any child.
It is simply a virus that is more deadly than HIV/AIDS.
It kills your self-esteem, and as you grow up, you already have a picture of what the world thinks of you, formed within your head.
Through my constant struggles, I came to realize that people’s words and deeds are often remembered more than they themselves are remembered.
For instance, the world might have forgotten about Martin Luther King Jr, but it sure has not forgotten his statements and on crucial issues.
Words are like monuments that will act as a constant remember of the impact someone had on our lives long after they are gone.
Today, most of the people who spoke good or ill about you are probably dead, but their words never died with them. In fact, the sense or nonsense in their words become more vivid to you with the passing of time. In other words, there are people who are dead right now but are continuing to ruin lives simply because of the words they spoke while they were still alive.
I wish everyone understood the weight of this and changed how they spoke.
Perhaps they would speak with a clear understanding of the impact their words have on people, most specifically children.
I know I might never change the whole world with my story, but maybe I might help just one person create a better foundation for his or her children.
Hitting the TV
I remember while growing up, we had this black and white TV that we used to hit every time it stopped working. Through the gentle and sometimes hard slaps, it worked again.
Unfortunately, that is the same way we often deal with our friends and relatives; we psychologically hit them with our words and leave scars that last forever.
These people are likely never to be the same again.
While they are entitled to their own destinies, some may never get over the fact that your words followed them into their world and ruined the great chances they had.
Picture this: Someone right now might be struggling with self-esteem, anger, and hate just because of the only person, who they looked up to, gave them the wrong definition of who they really were.
What if that person were you?
The only weapon to ‘change’ is love.
Let us show love to one another and remember that everyone is human: “No one is less human.”
This article is written by Guest Writer Steve – Head of Media at Home Of Transformation – H.O.T., Nairobi, Kenya.
I’m excited to introduce you to Steve; our new weekly KENYAN Guest Author.
Steve grew up as an adopted child (You can read his BIO at the base of this article) and knows firsthand what it is like to grow up without encouragement.
He is set to change Kenya. To change Africa. To change the world.
Please read this article he wrote exclusively for Exploramum.com.
We have chosen to commit long-term to support Steve as he sets to mentor Kenyan youths and also as he seeks to establish a Kenyan Orphanage, and we hope you will join us with partnering with him in the future too.
His wisdom, encouragement, and motivation are astounding.
Read Steve’s articles here.
- Encouraging Children To Give Them A Future
- Are You An Introvert?
- When People Forget Who They Are
- Why Are Your Words Following Me Into My World
- Employers Are Becoming Cons: Don’t Let Unemployment Define You
Steve is serious about mentoring the youth of Kenya
STEVE’s BIO – About me
“My life seemed perfect until the age of 11 when I realised that I was adopted!
Such a realisation became a battle for me since I had to secretly change my perspective about the people who surrounded me.
I could even barely figure out what was right from wrong, since what I thought to be right was now being confirmed as wrong through the mouth of a stranger.
By the age of 19 years, both my adoptive parents had died, and we had to re-adjust to the reality of facing the world without them. They had been amazing and supportive people and I thank God for them.
Something surprising about me is that I was never bold enough to speak up for myself during my early stages of life. As a result, I took people’s insults and reproaches with no defence. Anything nasty that was said about me became a part of me.
I was never the most outspoken kid on the block and got compared on numerous occasions to peers who people thought acted cooler than I did. All these ‘reproaches’ and the ‘hate’ broke me into bits and for over 10 years, I cried secretly, no one ever understanding the reason behind my chronic gloom.
I thank God that regardless of the hard times He was there by my side, always encouraging me and telling me that I would one day be what everyone thought I would never amount to.
Today, my head is up high and I am seeking to uplift the spirit of every child or youth who has been made to believe less in him/herself. Now I have been privileged to speak before students and children alike, something that seemed impossible before.
I bet it is the reason why my dreams of starting an orphanage and mentoring as many children and youths as possible have lingered on – despite financial hardships and discouragements.
I feel like this is just the beginning of me.”
Hobbies: Walking in the park, Videography, Cycling Passion: Mentorship
We are looking forward to Steve being a regular weekly author on Exploramum.com, and we hope he encourages you with his passion to help the youth of the world.
It’s so true how unkind words spoken, yelled or whispered to our youthful ears impact our lives into adulthood.
Words can haunt us all our lives. Words can’t be undone. I so agree!
I’m so sorry you experienced this in your childhood!
It’s good that as an adult, you can make your own decisions and “parent yourself” with love and kindness. It’s important to be your own best friend, and support yourself with encouraging self-talk.
Do you incorporate positive affirmations to keep your mindset in a good place?